Sunday, February 22, 2009
Just a bit broken...
It's been 3 years since you've left, and every time I think about you it hurts just like the first time. I miss you so much, it's crazy. They tell me that it'll fade as the years go by and sometimes it does. Sometimes its better and I know that you're in a better place but other times I'm selfish and wonder why you ever left me. I can't help but wonder what if, what if you were still here; would we be in complete different phases in our lives? Would we still be together?
I know it wasn't your fault nor was it mine, you didn't choose to leave it me; I didn't choose to leave you, it was just the circumstance. Can you call death a circumstance? I would give so much to have just another minute with you. To tell you how much you mean to me and how much you've changed my life, how much I still love you.
In my dreams you are real, your smile, your arms, the twinkle in your eyes when you laugh, it's all so real but when I open my eyes it's gone. YOU are gone.
Sometimes I go days without thinking about you and when I finally do I feel like I've let you down, that I've somehow forgotten you.
Sometimes I think I hear your laugh and I look around expecting to find you, at the mall if I see the back of someone that resembles you I rush up to see if it's you even though I know it's impossible and that it won't be you.
Another year passes and as I reach another milestone I never thought I would, I look back and remember all the times you were with me, all the times you held my hand and told me that I could, that I would.
How I wish you were here to celebrate with me… today my heart hurts just a bit more, for you, for us, for all the time we will never have.
I will always love you, no matter whoever else comes and goes in my life, you will always be in my heart.
I miss you so much. ♥ XOXO
I know it wasn't your fault nor was it mine, you didn't choose to leave it me; I didn't choose to leave you, it was just the circumstance. Can you call death a circumstance? I would give so much to have just another minute with you. To tell you how much you mean to me and how much you've changed my life, how much I still love you.
In my dreams you are real, your smile, your arms, the twinkle in your eyes when you laugh, it's all so real but when I open my eyes it's gone. YOU are gone.
Sometimes I go days without thinking about you and when I finally do I feel like I've let you down, that I've somehow forgotten you.
Sometimes I think I hear your laugh and I look around expecting to find you, at the mall if I see the back of someone that resembles you I rush up to see if it's you even though I know it's impossible and that it won't be you.
Another year passes and as I reach another milestone I never thought I would, I look back and remember all the times you were with me, all the times you held my hand and told me that I could, that I would.
How I wish you were here to celebrate with me… today my heart hurts just a bit more, for you, for us, for all the time we will never have.
I will always love you, no matter whoever else comes and goes in my life, you will always be in my heart.
I miss you so much. ♥ XOXO
Monday, February 16, 2009
Quote of the day.
The grass is often only greener on the other side because we've neglected to take care of the grass on the side that we're standing.
A note to God.
I'm not sure how many of you know this... but I'm catholic. I wrote this note for God but I figure that he wouldn't mind if I shared it with everyone else. =)
You are always there when I need you. All I need to do is ask, and you give. You give and give and never ask for anything back. I can always depend on you in the good and the bad. I know that you are in every shade of life but I often don’t see you. My excuses are many but the one I use most is that I forget, I forget because I’m too busy with my life, I forget because I don’t put you first on my list, I forget because you are there all the time. I take advantage of your charity but no matter what I do to push you away or however many times I’ve forgotten you; you are still there when I need you most. And no matter if I’m too busy, if I’m too down, if I’m too happy, you are always at my side. You walk with me and sometimes you carry me when I don’t have the strength or the courage to walk on my own. You have given me so much and I forget to thank you more often than not.
When I am weak, you are my strength.
When I am scared, you are my courage.
When I feel useless, you remind me of the good I’ve done.
In the coldest hour, you give me warmth.
In the darkest hour, you are my light.
You are always there when I need you. All I need to do is ask, and you give. You give and give and never ask for anything back. I can always depend on you in the good and the bad. I know that you are in every shade of life but I often don’t see you. My excuses are many but the one I use most is that I forget, I forget because I’m too busy with my life, I forget because I don’t put you first on my list, I forget because you are there all the time. I take advantage of your charity but no matter what I do to push you away or however many times I’ve forgotten you; you are still there when I need you most. And no matter if I’m too busy, if I’m too down, if I’m too happy, you are always at my side. You walk with me and sometimes you carry me when I don’t have the strength or the courage to walk on my own. You have given me so much and I forget to thank you more often than not.
When I am weak, you are my strength.
When I am scared, you are my courage.
When I feel useless, you remind me of the good I’ve done.
In the coldest hour, you give me warmth.
In the darkest hour, you are my light.
Being humble.
It's always nice to hear people complement you but when you start complementing yourself you've built yourself up to be an idol in your own head...that's when you stop listening to others, taking criticism, and learning from your mistakes.
Criticism may hurt at times but it helps us grow, it shows us what is wrong with what we are doing and it gives us an opportunity to better what we have done or created. It's okay for us to want to stroke our egos sometimes, it can help us feel better and it can make us want to work harder.
And so I want to say: Thank you for looking up to me, I'm glad I can be your role model. But please remember, I'm human, I make mistakes too... the higher you put me, the farther and harder I will fall.
Criticism may hurt at times but it helps us grow, it shows us what is wrong with what we are doing and it gives us an opportunity to better what we have done or created. It's okay for us to want to stroke our egos sometimes, it can help us feel better and it can make us want to work harder.
And so I want to say: Thank you for looking up to me, I'm glad I can be your role model. But please remember, I'm human, I make mistakes too... the higher you put me, the farther and harder I will fall.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Hip hip horray!
School week over. =D
Wow, I don't think I've had such a hard week at school before. As previously mentioned, I had 3 midterms along with 2 papers and one 80minute presentation for school this week. All due from Tuesday-Thursday. It was kind of insane.
So happy that it's over now. =D
Amazingly I kind of enjoyed it, I hate being nervous before a test but this is honestly the first time in a long time I've been excited about school. Even my family has told me that they've heard me say more positive things about school this semester.
Yes I was stressed out this week but it was a good kind of stress. One that I was willing to take and battle because I knew that the outcome would be positive.
hmm, it's refreshing to be enjoying it so much. I definitely hope that this feels keeps up.
Anyways, I'll put more up soon, I've been writing lots.
Take Care.
XO
Wow, I don't think I've had such a hard week at school before. As previously mentioned, I had 3 midterms along with 2 papers and one 80minute presentation for school this week. All due from Tuesday-Thursday. It was kind of insane.
So happy that it's over now. =D
Amazingly I kind of enjoyed it, I hate being nervous before a test but this is honestly the first time in a long time I've been excited about school. Even my family has told me that they've heard me say more positive things about school this semester.
Yes I was stressed out this week but it was a good kind of stress. One that I was willing to take and battle because I knew that the outcome would be positive.
hmm, it's refreshing to be enjoying it so much. I definitely hope that this feels keeps up.
Anyways, I'll put more up soon, I've been writing lots.
Take Care.
XO
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Quote of the day.
The passion to ride, its what drives us to wake up before the sun, load up our gear and head to the mountains while our neighbors sleep. It changes the meaning of winter storm warning. Drives us to question whats possible and never ever take no for an answer. It creates unlikely friendships, unforgettable days, countless stories and a culture devoted to riding down a slope and having fun.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
"You've changed..."
One of my professors today mentioned this in class, she said something along the lines of: "remember when people say 'you've changed' its only because you've stopped living your life 'their way'". How this quote could be more true is beyond me.
I've always wonder what makes people act different from the way they act the first time you meet them or even the last time you happened to bump into them. People change for good or for bad, but we see through our own self-perceived lens, we expect people to stay the same, be the same person every time we meet them. And when they're different what we tell them is that "they've changed", it may be something stubble like they smile more or they are less welcoming and meaner. But really we should be saying that our perception of this person is what's hasn't changed, people are dynamic they're not static, it's impossible for you to meet someone that will act the exact same way every time we see them.
There are circumstances that make people different, perhaps they've had a particular difficult day, maybe they have had a lot of stress in their lives lately, isn't it more supportive for us to embrace that change then it is to tell them that their different, the words "you've changed" often come with a negative connotation that you're different, you not normal, what's wrong with you that you can't stay the same?
My way of life and your way of life will undoubtedly be different. My past, my upbringing all affect who I am today, the events and hurdles I went through to get to where I am today make me who I am. Do I wish that some events played out differently... of course I do, but in the end, every step, every breath I've taken has molded me and some have made me stronger some have made me weaker. I am most definitely not the same as that junior in high school, nor the same person I was when I turned 19, I may even be different today then I was yesterday.
So, I'll put this out there, when we're about to tell someone that they've "changed" maybe instead we should be asking ourselves how we haven't changed.
hee hee, another thinker, but it's been a while since I put up thought provoking blogs, so enjoy. =D
I've always wonder what makes people act different from the way they act the first time you meet them or even the last time you happened to bump into them. People change for good or for bad, but we see through our own self-perceived lens, we expect people to stay the same, be the same person every time we meet them. And when they're different what we tell them is that "they've changed", it may be something stubble like they smile more or they are less welcoming and meaner. But really we should be saying that our perception of this person is what's hasn't changed, people are dynamic they're not static, it's impossible for you to meet someone that will act the exact same way every time we see them.
There are circumstances that make people different, perhaps they've had a particular difficult day, maybe they have had a lot of stress in their lives lately, isn't it more supportive for us to embrace that change then it is to tell them that their different, the words "you've changed" often come with a negative connotation that you're different, you not normal, what's wrong with you that you can't stay the same?
My way of life and your way of life will undoubtedly be different. My past, my upbringing all affect who I am today, the events and hurdles I went through to get to where I am today make me who I am. Do I wish that some events played out differently... of course I do, but in the end, every step, every breath I've taken has molded me and some have made me stronger some have made me weaker. I am most definitely not the same as that junior in high school, nor the same person I was when I turned 19, I may even be different today then I was yesterday.
So, I'll put this out there, when we're about to tell someone that they've "changed" maybe instead we should be asking ourselves how we haven't changed.
hee hee, another thinker, but it's been a while since I put up thought provoking blogs, so enjoy. =D
Appetizer to start the day. =D
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
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