Quote of the day.

What is love if it can't get through the good and the bad?

I like the little things.

I like how you know just when to call me when I need you the most.

Random Useless Fact

A new baby usually deprives it's parents of 400-750 hours of sleep in the first year.

I like the little things.

I like how you'll send me real mail every once in a while, just because...

Quote of the day.

I have no regrets, just an awareness of stupid choices.

I like the little things.

When you shake your head at me before I say what I'm going to say because that's how well you know me.

Quote of the day.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. If you forget this, attaining enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

3am phone call... pt.2

I assume that I know exactly what you’re going to say…
I’m not.
“Remember the day we spent making cookies, cupcakes, brownies and other stuff.”
I do, it was one of those days where we really didn’t want to do much and were happy hanging out in our pajamas. We had thought that it would be brilliant if we did some baking. We started off following the recipes but as the day progress we just threw things together, hoping that somehow things would turn out good. We burnt our first batch of cookies, ended up with coco goop, and salty cupcakes. One of us had mistaken the salt for the sugar. In between, we had a mini food fight, spilt the milk, and shared our first “I love you”s.

“I do”

“What happened? We were so happy.”

I have no script for this; this isn’t the conversation we usually have. I can hear in your voice, that you want a genuine answer.

“We changed, we grew apart.”

“Why? We were supposed to be the happily ever after couple. The ones that made it through the thick and thin, we were the role models.”

“Maybe there was too much pressure. I don’t know, Stacy, I don’t know why we didn’t work out.”

“Do you think we could ever…”

“No, I don’t think we could ever be together again.” I say the words so that you know and I know that it’s not possible. I don’t want to talk anymore. “Look, it’s late, can you call me tomorrow, I want to go back to sleep.”

“um, sure, oh and by the way, I still do love you”

I hang up before you do any more damage. While you may not remember the conversation tomorrow, I sure as hell will. I didn’t need to hear those words, not from you, not now, not ever again. Not that I don’t love you, but it’s that I do love you and somewhere deep down I’m still in love with you. We will always be friends but I don’t think being a couple is something we should ever do again.

I like the little things.

When you know to say "bless you" three times in a row when I sneeze the first time because you know I usually sneeze in threes.

3am phone call... pt.1

It’s 3:39am, my phone rings.
It’s you, I pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, whacca doing?”

“Sleeping, it’s 3 in the morning.”

“Oh really? I didn’t realize, I’m just calling…”

I can tell that you’ve been drinking.
I really don’t think I want to hear what you have to say.
We’ve been through this before.
It ends the same every time.
I stop you before you can finish the sentence.
“look…” I say gently,

“It’s late, I’m tired, and you’re drunk. Call back tomorrow and we can talk then.”

“But this is important” You tell me this every time.
Every time, I let it rope me into hearing you say that you’re sorry, that things ended badly.
That if it weren’t for what happened, we’d still be together.
We’ve had this conversation many times, always in this situation.
You drunk, middle of the night, me sleeping.
Alcohol has the affinity to make you do things you normally wouldn’t do.
Time in and time out, you end up sad and crying, I’m angry and frustrated.
You’ll call again in the morning and apologize, it was the alcohol talking, and you didn’t mean any of it, if you remember any of it at all.
I’m ready to avoid the situation all together.

“I don’t want to hear it. I know what you’re going to say.”

“It’s different this time, I swear.”

I let out a sigh, sit up in bed and prepare myself to hear it once again.
I assume that I know exactly what you’re going to say…

3am phone call...

This is going to be a 3 part series... (I think)
The speech might get a bit confusing so I'll change the colors for each person.
I hope you enjoy it!
Leave comments. I'd love to hear them. :)

Quote of the day.

A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting beside you saying "Man, we fucked up!"

Random Useless Fact

The penguin is the only bird that can’t fly but can swim.

Living to not get hurt.

I have a confession to make.
I don't let people in, I keep them at a distance.
It's a tactic I've used the majority of my life.
For the most part, I don't understand it.
I push people away when they get too close.
I keep so many secrets, most people don't even know.
Many of my friends will tell you that they really don't know much about me.
I prefer to keep it that way.
By keeping people at a distance, I don't have to feel the pain, any pain.
They don't have to get hurt, I don't have to worry about hurting them.
Most importantly, I will never have the opportunity to disappoint them.
To be a failure to them. By building that brick wall between my world and theirs, I am protecting both them and me.
I'm protected, and I live not to get hurt.
I need to change that. You've caused me to want to change that. I want to let you in. I just need some time.

Quote of the day.

Sometimes we argue, fight just so we can kiss and make up.

I like the little things.

The way someone stumbles over an explanation, not because they don't know but because they never expected you to ask.

If I give you... Will you give me...?

I wake up this morning and the first thing I think about is you.
I miss you so much that even words can not begin to express it.
They say that there are 5 stages of grief,
that you can work through them all,
they don't tell you that you work through them, over and over again.
Some days are ok, some days aren't.
Some days I hit every stage before I even get out of bed.
Some days I don't go through them at all.
I know them all by heart now, Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Depression-Acceptance.
I think that thanks to you, I've become a master bargainer,
it's amazing what you can come up with when you have nothing left.
As I work through to the acceptance that I will never physically see or touch you again, I ask myself "why".
Though I know that I will never get an answer, I still strike up another bargain with the invisible force that's out there.
Love you, and miss you. XOXO

Quote of the day.

One tequila. two tequila. three tequila. Floor. That floor doesn't know what's coming.

I like the little things.

When someone forgets to catch themselves before they expose their passion for something silly.

Random Useless Fact

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.