Seraching...

We have another conversation.
It starts with the usual pleasantries.

"How are you?"
"What's new?"
"How is school going?"

Then you tell me,

"I've been thinking about you."

"Erm, why?"

Why would I ask you such a question?
I don’t want the answer.

It truly baffles me how you manage to turn my world upside down and inside out with one simple sentence.

My mind starts to go places where it shouldn’t. What are you going to tell me? Did I do something wrong? Are you thinking that what we have isn’t working?

I impatiently wait for your answer.
The seconds feel like hours.

“I’m not sure; you’ve just been on my mind.”

“Oh, that’s a good thing right?”

“Ha, yes, of course it is.”

I tell you the truth, because that’s just the way I work.

“I thought you were going to tell me something bad. Like that you don’t like the way our relationship is.”

You, as usual, bring in the logic.

“Why would you think that? It’s not like I would call you up just to tell you that “we’re” not working. I’d rather do it through text or e-mail”

“We’re?” you used the words “we’re”. Isn’t that equivalent to using the words us? Again, my brain goes and hits ultra drive. I draw a blank and have nothing to say.

“You still there?”

“Yep, just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Me and you, you used the words 'we’re'"

I know that I’m stirring up the pot, and my emotions are way beyond normal but I find that with you, I am so out of my element that I don’t know what else to be.

Luckily you just shrug it off.

“You’re just being silly. I’m coming up next weekend; do you want to do dinner?”

Plans are easily made and like every weekend you’re up, we get together.

“We”, for us the line between friendship and relationship have been blurred over the past few months. There is that thin invisible line we walk, sometimes we’re walking it hand in hand and other times we walk it as far away from each other as possible. Regardless, “we’re” walking it, and when one of us falls over, “we” will have to deal with it. I'm just not ready for it yet.