"You've changed..."

One of my professors today mentioned this in class, she said something along the lines of: "remember when people say 'you've changed' its only because you've stopped living your life 'their way'". How this quote could be more true is beyond me.

I've always wonder what makes people act different from the way they act the first time you meet them or even the last time you happened to bump into them. People change for good or for bad, but we see through our own self-perceived lens, we expect people to stay the same, be the same person every time we meet them. And when they're different what we tell them is that "they've changed", it may be something stubble like they smile more or they are less welcoming and meaner. But really we should be saying that our perception of this person is what's hasn't changed, people are dynamic they're not static, it's impossible for you to meet someone that will act the exact same way every time we see them.

There are circumstances that make people different, perhaps they've had a particular difficult day, maybe they have had a lot of stress in their lives lately, isn't it more supportive for us to embrace that change then it is to tell them that their different, the words "you've changed" often come with a negative connotation that you're different, you not normal, what's wrong with you that you can't stay the same?

My way of life and your way of life will undoubtedly be different. My past, my upbringing all affect who I am today, the events and hurdles I went through to get to where I am today make me who I am. Do I wish that some events played out differently... of course I do, but in the end, every step, every breath I've taken has molded me and some have made me stronger some have made me weaker. I am most definitely not the same as that junior in high school, nor the same person I was when I turned 19, I may even be different today then I was yesterday.

So, I'll put this out there, when we're about to tell someone that they've "changed" maybe instead we should be asking ourselves how we haven't changed.

hee hee, another thinker, but it's been a while since I put up thought provoking blogs, so enjoy. =D